When your daughter Ivanka was 16 you said, "Don't you think my daughter's hot? she's hot, right?
Ick. Like super ick.
You said, "If Ivanka (age 22) weren't my daughter, I'd probably be dating her."
Swipe right!
I "okayed" Howard Stern calling Ivanka a "Piece of Ass."
No, dude. You're the ass. Babba Booey!
You said, "If I weren't happily married and, ya know, her (Ivanka, age 23) her father...
Hey! That's one way to be a family man!
Congratulations! You qualify for the Super Creepy Daddy Credit!