FORM 1040 DT - The "Alternative" Tax

You donated $0 to the "Association to Benefit Children" (an AIDS charity) but gate-crashed their nursery school ribbon cutting anyway.

Seriously, you have no shame.

Between 2008 and 2015, the actual cash value of your charitable donations did not exceed $10,000.

Poor people are losers.

In 2016 you donated $1,000,000 to the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation.

You did but was it before or after you were called out by the Washington Post?

You used $20,000 from the Donald J. Trump Foundation to purchase a 6 foot tall portrait of yourself.

You did but it's fantastic. Many people are saying it's tremendous.

You used proceeds from the Donald J. Trump Foundation to pay for little Donnie's Cub Scout membership (cost $7.00).

It would have been more if they sold Thin Mints or Peanut Butter Patties.

You promised to donate the proceeds from Trump University to charity.

It wasn't a real university so the promise didn't count.

You also promised to donate the proceeds from The Apprentice to charity.

Have you seen what Schwarzenegger did to the ratings? It's a total disaster!

The Donald J. Trump's largest-ever gift of $264,631 was used to renovate a fountain in front of the Trump Plaza Hotel.

Charity begins at home!

Wow! You've got a big heart!

(One you should probably see Dr. Bornstein about.)

And it looks like we're just about done.

Let's find out what you owe!